Science jokes
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
I make chemistry jokes periodically.
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
Did you hear about Fridgetair
Kelvinator?
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
If I get an atom, I would split it with you.
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?
Because it has at least one hundred degrees.
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.
Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?
Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.