I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
His favorite drink was his dribble.
What's steven Hawking shampoo?
-Head and shoulders 😊
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
