What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
Science Jokes
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.
The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.
The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Do you think Stephen Hawking could ever plug his Instagram or anything?
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
Did you know Stephen Hawking died in a game? The game was Happy Wheels.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
He's dead.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died was because he saw the end.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Stephen Hawking's death was completely accidental.
He pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep".
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
What was Stephen Hawking's pet?
A hawk.
