Science jokes
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead; his update is just laggy because he is too far from the WiFi box.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
The sun is fire.
Well I guess exoplanets never had some exoloration. 🤣🤣🤣
Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?
Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
Stephen Hawking = dead smart.
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.