School jokes
What are American schools?
Shooting ranges.
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
When your crush walks in class but you're homeschooled...
wtf school
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
I really slapped my pants at school today. This is normal, because boys also have their period.
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.