School jokes

What do you call a bruised banana?

A school bus full of his kids.

Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.

A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."

Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?

Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.

What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?

Concentration camp.

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."

Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?

The pacer test.

My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.

What do you call a bus full of stoners?

The Magic School Bus.

If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.

I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.

Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.

Why did Sally not come home from school today?

Because she died by a flying brick!

Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."

There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?

He's Dahmer's son @domink.

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me, what did you do?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

I was at school when I remembered I forgot my necklace, then I screamed out, "Shit, I forgot Grandpa!"