School jokes
Q: What were my son's last words before he died?
A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?
I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.
When I got to school, I was speechless.
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
What is Sophia’s favourite song?
"Open Wide" cum inside, it is okay school.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
Rice Middle School
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?
Little kids leave preschool.
I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.