Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
Say Jokes
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
What did the cow say?
Moo!
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
I would say life's a joke, but I can't, because jokes have a meaning.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
