Say jokes
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
I would say life's a joke, but I can't, because jokes have a meaning.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
What did the cow say?
Moo!
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."