Say jokes

What does a cow say? Moo.

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?!"

What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."

What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"

What did one copper say to the other? C U.

What did the big flower say to the little flower?

Hi, Bud!

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!

What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"

What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"

My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.

What a weird way to start a conversation!

What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?

Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."

A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."

I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.

What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"

What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?

"Nice tits, bitch."

What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?

They both say "Hello children!"