Say jokes

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

What did the big flower say to the little flower?

Hi, Bud!

If someone calls you dirty minded just say:

"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."

Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?

First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:

"The canons be ready, Captain!"

"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!

What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"

The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!

What did Adam say when he saw Eve?

Answer: "Woman!"

What did the HP say to a Dell?

Hello!

What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"

What does the policeman say to the jumper?

"Hey! Pullover!"

I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.

What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?

"Nice tits, bitch."

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"

Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"

Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?

A: I'd hit that.

You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.

What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?

Smash.

(Get it?) 9/11.

What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?

“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”

An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.