Say jokes
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
I would say life's a joke, but I can't, because jokes have a meaning.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
What did the cow say?
Moo!