Say jokes

The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!

What did the HP say to a Dell?

Hello!

What does the policeman say to the jumper?

"Hey! Pullover!"

What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"

I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.

Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?

Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.

My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"

What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?

"Nice tits, bitch."

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"

Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"

They say they'll stay, but I left first.

What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?

“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”

An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.

You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?

They both say "Hello children!"

Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?

A: Make sure to come upstairs!

What did the cow say?

Moo!

A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."

The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."