Say Jokes

Say what you want about Hitler at least he got the trains to run on time

What did one butthole say to the other? I don't know WHAT got into me last night!

What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.

what did steven hawkins say when the wifi cut out .........nothing

What does santa say about my mom? HO HO HO

What did the Bull say to his son when he was going of to school? BISON!!!!

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, ̈Sorry, we don't serve food here."

A woman walk into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"

Two guys are on the playground one guys says too the other “did you know that Hellen Keller had a play ground in her backyard” the other guy said “no” the first guy says “neither did she

Why did the Canadian cross the road? To say sorry to the other side.

They can't say no if they're unconscious

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy"

(I'm a trans man myself lol)

What did the dentist say when he looks into a patients mouth?

I C D K

You know what I see?

DICK :0

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."

What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?

"oh my God, you're such a beach"

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can't be tho.. he's allergic to nuts!

A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes"