Say jokes
What did the priest say to the Muslim? Wazza!
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
What did the explorer say when he got tired?
I'm gonna take a map.
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
At an orphan's funeral, you say, "Your dad came back."
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
This guy is boiling water. The girl walks in and says, “What are you doing?” The guy says, “I’m making Holy Water.” She said, “How?” He said, “I’m boiling the hell out of it.”
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
Why are orphans so famous for their jokes?
Because everyone says go big or go home!
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.
What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"