Say jokes

What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?

"Sandy cheeks."

Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.

About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"

I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.

Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:

"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"

What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨

What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?

"Nice tits, bitch."

What did Adam say when he saw Eve?

Answer: "Woman!"

I would say life's a joke, but I can't, because jokes have a meaning.

What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?

“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”

You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.

What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?

Smash.

(Get it?) 9/11.

Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?

A: Make sure to come upstairs!

What did the cow say?

Moo!

Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"

Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"

Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?

A: I'd hit that.

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?

They both say "Hello children!"

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."