What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
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Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...
What did one copper say to the other? C U.
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
