An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
What did the cow say?
Moo!
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
