Say jokes

What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.

So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.

A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.

What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?

When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."

What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?

"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!

What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.

What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?

"Stop it! It hertz so much!"

How do you say "Brazier" in German?

Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)

Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

What did the orphan say to the other? "Quickly Robin, to the Batmobile!"

How do you spell ihop?

Then spell ihop and say "ness".

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?

What did the orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."

I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."