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Name

    • So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"

    He says, "What's it to ya?"

    So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"

    Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.

    Orphan

    • An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

    Frog

    • What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.

    What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."

    Say memes

    People

    • Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??

    Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!

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    • Sister

    • SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"

    Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"

    Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...

    My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."

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    • Rice

    • An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”

    The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”

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    • Santa

    • You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"

    How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?

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    • Boy

    • A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.

    Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."

    Classroom

    • There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

    The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

    The teacher says, "That's right."

    The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

    "That's right," the teacher says.

    The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

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    • Squirrel

    • A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

    Gun

    • A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost.

    So as they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die."

    The man from France said, "Bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun." And the man from New York said, "Bring me a gun as well!"

    The guy was confused but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For the France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shooting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."