Say jokes

What did one plane say to the other?

"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."

Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"

They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.

1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.

2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.

If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.

Welcome.

What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?

"Nice tits."

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

What did Google Translate say to Siri?

"Why are you so Siri-ous?"

A note for My arts/health teacher:

oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?

Nothing, he doesn't have any.

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?

"This tastes a little funny."

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

Thanks for coming!

What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, he just waved.

Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.

So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."

Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"

He was so naughty!

Why didn't the orphan do the work?

Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.

Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"

A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."

What do you say when going for a dunk in basketball?

"Kobe crash!"

What do you say to an emo with a new haircut?

"Nice cut, G."

You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."