Say jokes
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice guts, G!"
What did the Queen Bee say to her bees?
"Beehive yourselves!"
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
What did the orange say to the other orange?
I orange you glad!
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:
"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...
YOU WERE BORN!"
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
What did the goat say?
"Let's play the grass!"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣funny joke yes
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
What time is it when you say "what?"
Time to start over!