Say jokes
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
What did the tower say to the other one?
I will see you later; I am about to get hit.
What did the bus say to the mail?
Dog.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
UwU
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing, then his friend calls and he is groaning. He said he was having cramps, so the husband tells the doctor, "Doc, turn it up to 40%!" So he does, and his friend throws up, so he said, "Doc, turn it up to 100%!" and his friend dies.
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wa sa Bee.
Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.
Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."
Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."
The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?
"Some ting wong."
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."