Say jokes

People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.

What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.

What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?

"Stop it! It hertz so much!"

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."

What did the north tower say to the south tower during the summer? Get ready for fall!

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.

What did the orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."

I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!

Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?

What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

The bartender replied: "A shotgun."

How do you spell ihop?

Then spell ihop and say "ness".

What did the orphan say to the other? "Quickly Robin, to the Batmobile!"

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?

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