Say jokes

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

What did the orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."

People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?

How do you spell ihop?

Then spell ihop and say "ness".

What did the orphan say to the other? "Quickly Robin, to the Batmobile!"

How do you say "Brazier" in German?

Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?

O I C U R M T

The best joke in the world is me.

Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'

'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'

what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

What did one depressed kid say to the other?

Hey, wanna hang together?

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through something so small?"

What does the suicidal person say on New Years?

"New year, no me."

A man walks into a bar.

Then he walks into a Pole.

Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"