What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is weirdest thing to say. Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops! Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird). Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt(really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall and when I got out a handicap man told me that I was an a**hole and I told him “bet you won’t stand up and say that to my face” and hen he broke down.
Old man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's.". The old man says "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
What did the cake say to the fork?
Do you want a piece of me!!!
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
What do u call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, whats your emergency?” The hunter replies “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream, the man asks do you want sauce on it? The downs kid says It doesn’t matter I’m going to drop it anyway 😂😂😂
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
Get off me homes.
A Roman walks into a bar
He holds up two fingers and says "give me five beers."
A kid asks hims mom "mom how much do you love me" the mother responds with "i love you as much as i love your brother" the kid looks confused and says "but i don't have a brother" the mother smiles and says "well i guess my love is not existing
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time I'd give your mom a coat hanger.
Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract." Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
Im at my happiest point in life im dating someone thats autistic, and i was just saying i needed someone special in my life.
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
I said to Google How do i kill someone then i got https://www.wired.com/story/dark-web-bitcoin-murder-cottage-grove in the front before you click it it says if you want to kill someone we are the right guys.How the f this get in google
