Say jokes
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!
Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.
What did the ocean say when it saw the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
This is what the unknown guy is saying about Tenya and Kenya!
Go to each link and read it and the comments, and it will really make you cry!
http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fb240eccd25122cb21997/kenya-will-end-up-all-alone
https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fa7beeccd25122cb2197b/fine-then-if-i-cant-do-gwen-then-i-guess http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fbb2aeccd25122cb219a5/kenya-at-least-you-know-youre-ugly-and-accept-itit-is-tenya-and-kenya-twin-sisters
You think Gwen is the worst one to get bullied? Well look at this!
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!