Say jokes
What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?
CHEESE-US!
What did the skeleton say after dinner?
Bon appétit!
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.
Not so great way to find out you are adopted.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
Beans, beans, beans. Say what? Say beans, beans, beans.
Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
I adopted you. Now say goodbye, you missed your Spanish lesson...
What did the banana say to Ethan, Ryan, and Cooper?
"Hi!"
What did the zero say to the eight?
"Nice belt!"
What did an orange say the day before going to work?
"Back to the rind!"
What did the 19-year-old say to the 12-year-old?
Wanna play Mario Smash Bros without Mario or his bros?
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
I was at school with friends. One of my friends had hair in her armpits. The rest of my friends and I tried not to laugh or say anything, until one of my friends laughed and told her she had hair in her armpits, so she ran to her locker to get hair remover and went to one of the restroom stalls.
My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.
And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"
I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”