Say jokes

I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.

What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.

What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.

What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.

A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."

Say "urine egger" five times fast.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"

What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?

Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"

Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."

What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"

The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."

What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!

Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.

What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?

Nothing, it was feeling blue.

What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!

Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?

What did the fish say when he got to the dam?

"Dam water."

"Dam!"

An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”

The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”

Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"

The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.

The kid asked him again and so on.

Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"

Why did Hitler say "nein"? Because he just got raped, bitch!