Say jokes
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
I always say I'm single, which annoys my wife.
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
POOP!
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Ugh, ugh, ugh!"
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?
Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
Whoever is deleting my messages, comment and say why!