Say jokes

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!

"Hey, Firesharky... How did you know if I was your brother when I'm not? You didn't even say my name, and plus, I'm lying about my name."

I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.

A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."

What did Lucy say when she saw her sonogram?

"Looks like a rerun."

Guys, say "A wrecked isle dysfunction" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

"Windows shut down sound."

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.

So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.

What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?

"Bi-son."

A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."

When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)

A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"

Dad said, "It is, Son."

Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice guts, G!"

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).

I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?