Say jokes
What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
Confucius say: "Gay man who take far, far away trip, hates to leave friends behind."
I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.
What did the builder say after the foundation?
"Employees!"
Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.
About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."
Mom asked, "Why?"
Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."
Summary of Twilight in one sentence:
Bella hits on two guys, runs away. Edward glances to Jacob saying, "Go Fetch," and suddenly Bella's his.
One woman said to the other, "This child is truly cruel!"
The second woman replied, "Did I say 'child'?"
The first woman said, "I beg your pardon; I didn't know you were my father!"
How do you make an idiot say how?
If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"
What is the difference between a man and a woman packing boxes?
The man says, "I have everything I need."
The woman says, "I love everything I have."
A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.
They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.
Yo mama so poor, when I ring the doorbell, she says, "DING!"
What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?
"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"
According to the Police report, what did one traffic signal say to the other?
"Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light..."
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?