Say jokes

What did one detective say to the other detective?

"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."

What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?

Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?

A: I find your lack of face disturbing.

Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."

What did the Indian say when the pizza was delivered to him?

"Hey! Who puked on the frybread?"

Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?

Seize your moment.

What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?

"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"

R.I.P. Floyd.

When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"

What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?

"Long time no see!"

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

What did the orphan say to the barber?

I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.

Say, "Moommy."

Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D

Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"

What did the builder say after the foundation?

"Employees!"

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!

Me: My therapist says I need those to live.

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hangout.

I saw them hanging all day.