Say jokes

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

Orange: Hey Apple, Apple, hey Apple.

Apple: What?

Orange: Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Hahaha!

Guys, say "A wrecked isle dysfunction" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!

"Hey, Firesharky... How did you know if I was your brother when I'm not? You didn't even say my name, and plus, I'm lying about my name."

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.

So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.

A guy walks up to a girl. He says, "Hey, you want a poker? I’ve got one."

I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.

A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."

What did Lucy say when she saw her sonogram?

"Looks like a rerun."

What did the funny bone say to the skin?

"You're not humerus, I am!"

I just wanted to say, Prince, that that "qwen" you were chatting with is totally fake! I haven't talked to you all day, I swear!

I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.

Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?

You: Yeah, but why so many people?

Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.

You: Dude!!!!

"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"