Toronto jokes
The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.
A down-on-his-luck Newfoundlander takes a job in Toronto. He hates every minute of it. The housing is overpriced, the traffic a bottleneck. Frustrated, he starts saving every penny until he can buy a car to go home to the outport.
Eventually someone takes pity on him and offers to sell him a car with no reverse for fifty bucks.
"I takes it!" the Newfie replies, "because I don't intends on coming back anyway."
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
Community talk
I'm Gabe's (Mid-Western Motherfucker) old friend from when he visited toronto in the 2000's. I would like to say that you all changed him very much, when we met he was grumpy terrifying and rude, but in recent times he was happier and talking about you guys. My honest thanks for helping him be a better man and my apologies for his passing, I hope you will all remember him. (If you don't believe me he had his account saved on his fridge door and I will comment from his account on this post)