Say jokes
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?
"An RC-XD!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stephen.
Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
Here [are] some questions firesharky:
1. What color hair do u have?
2. What[s] MY parents['] names? What hospital [were] u born in?
3. What state [were] u born in?
Do not say I don't know.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?
Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?
Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.
Fat guy: Thinking.