When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
Say Jokes
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
What did the orphan say to the adopter?
Nothing, he just stared.
What did God say when he created the first black person?
"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
Dog: Woof!
Butcher: Say less.
What did the fish say to the beach?
"Long tide, no see!"
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
What did the pen say to the pencil?
The pen said, "You're pointy."
What did the weed say before he got on the escalator?
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!
