Say jokes
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
"What a re-leaf."
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.
What did the Blonde say to the other Blonde?
They don’t know; they couldn’t figure out what to say.
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison.
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Glock, glock.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
What did the water say to the cup?
"Good day!"
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
What did the rapper say to the broken vending machine?
"Yo, drop the BEAT!"