Say jokes

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

Two cows in a field.

One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"

The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?

"Gene-ious!"

When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."

What did the 5 say to the S?

"Nice shape."

Why do men say funny things? Just to be silly!

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?

I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.

What did one ballsack say to another?

"You stay here, I'll go pee."

What did the cow say to the farmer? Moo away!

Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"

What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?

"What a re-leaf."

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.

What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

How do you disappoint people in Africa?

Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.

But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.