Say jokes

What did Shrek say to the princess? “I love walls!”

So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...

Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.

The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"

And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.

Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.

Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)

A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"

Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."

Genie: Poof!

Tom: It didn't work.

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"

What did Osama say after knocking over the Twin Towers?

He he he haw.

People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!

1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.

A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."

Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?

Ask an orphan.

What did the Brit say to the American?

Well here comes fascism.

Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?

"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

Tell someone to spell "Icup."

Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"

If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.

What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.

Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?

Because they were just roman around.

Sonic says: If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?