Say jokes

When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"

Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!

Rob: .....BECKY :3

I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.

Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.

Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"

The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."

What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?

"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"

What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"

What did the skeleton say to Shrek?

"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."

What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?

"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.

What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?

"Bale me out!"

What did the ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing. They just waved.

Did you sea what I did there?

An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.

The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."

When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.

A man with a mullet walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

What did Steven Hawking say?

Nothing.

A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"

He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"