Say jokes

Tell someone to spell "Icup."

Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"

What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?

"I don’t have a mama."

If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.

What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?

"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?

Because they were just roman around.

What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.

Sonic says: If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"

What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?

Piss don't s**t on me!

Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...

Trump: What's UpNigga?

Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!

Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"

So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...

Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We are both lawyers.

An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.

The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"

And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.

What did Shrek say to the princess? “I love walls!”

What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?

OH it's a bitch.

If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.

Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.

Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)