Say jokes

What did the beach say when the tide came in?

"Long time no sea."

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

My teacher said, "Say welcome to our new student; he's an orphan." The teacher said, "Is anyone missing?" I said, "That kid's parents."

What did the banana say to his neighbor? Yellow!

What did Sushi 'A' say to Sushi 'B'?

- Wassaaaa....B!

What did the Joker say to Harley Quinn?

Nothing.

What did the rock say to the flower?

Rocks can't talk. -.-

What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?

I yam.

Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!

Rob: .....BECKY :3

What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?

"I got stuck in a butt crack!"

I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"

A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"

When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"

What did the ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing. They just waved.

Did you sea what I did there?

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

What was I saying again?

Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?

A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩

Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?

"Bale me out!"