Say jokes
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We are both lawyers.
The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."
What did Osama say after knocking over the Twin Towers?
He he he haw.
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
What did Shrek say to the princess? “I love walls!”
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.
Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.
Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!
I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
A teacher says, "What comes before 47?" Quiet kid: "AK!"
Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"