Say jokes
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀
Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!
Rob: .....BECKY :3
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
What did the Joker say to Harley Quinn?
Nothing.
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
What did the banana say to his neighbor? Yellow!
The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"