Say jokes

What did 0 say to 8?

"Hey, nice belt!"

What did the racist Catholic priest say?

"Martin Luther? Not my king!"

What did the Twin Towers say to the plane?

What did the toaster say to the piece of bread? "I want you inside me."

What did the O say to the O? "O hi O!" (Ohio)

What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We are both lawyers.

The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?

OH it's a bitch.

What did Shrek say to the princess? “I love walls!”

So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...

Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.

The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"

And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.

Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.

Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)

A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"

Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."

Genie: Poof!

Tom: It didn't work.

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"

What did Osama say after knocking over the Twin Towers?

He he he haw.

People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!

1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.

A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."

Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?

Ask an orphan.