Say jokes

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!

How do you surprise a blind guy?

Say, "Surprise!"

What did one nut say to the other?

“Cashew later.”

What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?

“I’m gonna cashew!”

What did the coal say to the charcoal?

You look pretty coal! 🤣

You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?

A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

What does one emo kid say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?

He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.

What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?

"I'm so crazy in love..."

Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.

Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

A sandwich walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.