Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
Say Jokes
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
Nothing, she was hung over.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
