Say jokes
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
What did one skeleton say to another?
...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What did one nut say to the other nut? "The guy in the middle's a dick!"
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆
Virgos are always virgins to age 17... Just saying.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.