Say jokes

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

What does one emo kid say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?

He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.

What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?

"I'm so crazy in love..."

Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.

Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

A sandwich walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"

What did Grant say? "I'm gay."

What did the slaves say when they met their soon-to-be masters?

"Aaah, a ghost!"

"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."

What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"