Say jokes

What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?

"Do you want the cameras on or off?"

What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

What did the beat say to the rapper?

"Drop it like it's HOT!"

What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?

"That is very Wong."

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?

"Dirty bitch, you are."

What did God say when he made the first black man?

"Crap, I burnt one!"

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."

My girlfriend got COVID.

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?

Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.

What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?

"Make me one with everything."

What did the sushi say to the bee?

Wa sa Bee.

They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.

What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?

"Where are the kids?"

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

"I thought what we had was special!"