Say jokes
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?
"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wa sa Bee.
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
What did the rapper say to the SANDWICH?
"Wrap it up!"
What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
Nothing, she was hung over.
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
What did the rapper say to his broken refrigerator?
"Yo, chill!"
What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"Drop it like it's HOT!"
What did the rapper say when he stubbed his toe?
"Ouch! That's NOT a sick beat!"
What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?
"Dirty bitch, you are."
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."