Say jokes

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?

Because they are not going to work.

I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?

"I sea him!"

When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣

For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."

Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!

Gwen is a liar. She said she is a Christian and then is saying bad, bad, bad, bad words. Shame on you, Gwen, LIAR!

When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍

You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?

I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.

When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, it just waved.

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"

Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.