Say jokes
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?
A. "We're in the Matrix."
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of dawn.
Let's just say Dawn got very mad.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
What does one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"