Say jokes
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
Memes
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.
What did the Queen Bee say to her bees?
"Beehive yourselves!"
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
What did the meditating egg say?
A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!