Say jokes

I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.

Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"

How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."

You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."

What did one emo kid say to the other?

"I like ya cut, G."

What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!

What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"

Oh... wait.

Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.

You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

I should name my dog Ariana Grande.

That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.