Say jokes
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
What did the South Tower say to the North Tower?
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
Memes
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
What did the orange say to the other orange?
I orange you glad!
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.
The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."
When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.
What did the Queen Bee say to her bees?
"Beehive yourselves!"
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.