Say jokes
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
Memes
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
I'm not saying you're stupid.
But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs Nice tits
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"