Say jokes
What did the meditating egg say?
A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Memes
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
Americans leave without saying goodbye, and Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"