Say jokes

People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?

A: Stop littering!

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."

Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.

We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?

"Hi, nice to meet you."

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

What did the Pokémon say after having sex?

"My ball was sore!"

What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?

"Verdun for."

What did God say when he made the first woman?

"Where is your dick at?"

What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?

"Will there be seconds?"

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?

"Want to see if it fits?"

Americans leave without saying goodbye, and Russians say goodbye without leaving.

What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?

"5 second rule!"

You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”