Say jokes

Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.

Not so great way to find out you are adopted.

My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."

My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"

He started crying.

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."

Tung tung tung sahur. Three tungs when you say his name? So many tungs I oughta call you a polyglot.

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.

So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"

What did the Blonde say to the other Blonde?

They don’t know; they couldn’t figure out what to say.

A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.

He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there's a knock at the door.

He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says, "What was that all about?"

An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.

He asked, "Is somting wong?"

The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."

Why did the first boob say to the 2nd boob: "Between us, I have to take a tit."

What did the orphan say to the barber?

I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.

White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?

"To bee or not to bee."

Hi guys, I'm going to be out for 3 days. Also, quote for the day and advice.

Quote. (Made by me) Don't look back at tomorrow; just look forward today. There are new thoughts, strength, and ideas.

Advice. Sometimes ppl have opinions, and those opinions are probably what you don't like, but don't bring negativity on them just because of what they're saying. If you chose, you probably say, "I don't understand that statement, but it does sound good." This is not a drama site; it's a joking site.

P.S. No hating in these comments.

What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?

"Make me one with everything."

What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"