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Say jokes

What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?

It said nothing, just let out a little wine.

Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."

Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."

When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?

“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”

There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

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  • A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"

    The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."

    I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.

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  • If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."

    Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,

    "Thank you for your donation!"