Say jokes
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.
What did John Cena say to Ray Charles?
Hey, man.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey!
Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.
But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.
What is the difference between a pornstar and a mosquito?
No one stops sucking.
Say yes if you wanna fuck.
Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
What does one piece of toilet paper say to the other?
"I'm wiped!"
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
Why is something orphans can never say?
"Let's go home."
What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?
"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"
What did the Asian say to the Asian?
*Cough*
What did the poop say to the toilet paper? “You’re on a roll!”
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"