Say jokes

What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?

"Want to see if it fits?"

What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through something so small?"

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

What did the mic say to the rapper?

"Don’t DROP me, bro!"

Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?

He [is a] goy.

What did the rapper say to the computer?

“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”

A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"

What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”

"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”

“Where do you come from?"

"Rome."

“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"

"No, Rome, Italy, of course."

“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”

To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"

"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"

"No, Rome, Italy, of course."

"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”

Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"

"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"

"Rome, Italy."

"No, sorry, never heard of him.”

Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"

"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"

"He says Rome, Italy."

"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"

I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.

What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?

"No, you ate my cock!"

What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?

"No, my cock!"

The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."

What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?

"Verdun for."

There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.

First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"

Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"

And throws the White man off of the building.

What say the child to the man? Shalom.

Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"

Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"

Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."

What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?

Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.