Say jokes
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
Americans leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"