Said Jokes

Why did the blonde stare at the Ford? Because it said, Focus

I was walking past an orphan and I said Just go home

Your hairline is so big the Niagara Falls said “oh looks like we’ve got some competition

a suicidal boy went up too a tree and said "hi". The tree never responded; it left him hanging.

I walked pass by a orphanage, the orphan started to call me names and I said " A least I have a family".

Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.

so the man asks me, "Jesus how do you want your steak "

so I said, "well done, my good faithful servant, well done.

I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day. " I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day."

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself and his friend says "Find God he'll help you!" and than the man said “There’s only one way to get to God and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?”

I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked is this train running on time, I said no it runs on steam and coal

People said that we needed to follow in Kobe’s footsteps but ther are none

A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy.... and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the "girl" takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:...... um

Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...; “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!” The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no.” said the teacher terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.'”

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said "how sick?". I said "well I'm in bed with my 12 year old sister".

Two cows were hiding.One said:"Moooo" The other one said:"Shut up! We're hiding!"

So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed. Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."©