Said jokes

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.

Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"

Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?

Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"

Peyk 47 said that Kobe Bryant is not a legend, but he is.

"Meow, meow, I'm a dog," said the sped kid.

Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?

...

You do realize that I said nothing, right?

Me: Exactly :)

One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."

The other said, "Really? I like my bed."

My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.

I said to the orphan, "Do you want me to take you to your family? Oh wait..."

I’m back and have a joke my friend said!

Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.

Person 2: What was it?

Person 1: He went as himself.

My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!

Guys talk to me is what the emo loner said, but seriously, talk to me.

Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."

Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."

A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my friend was mute she said, “Can't you unmute her?”