Said jokes

A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."

People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.

"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"

I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."

Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."

So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"

The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"

"Hi Koko, you said we met a few years ago. What is your real name? Lol."

This is about Gwen.

I don't know her, but people are just causing too much drama over one person who never said one thing to them.

God: Why is the teenager so short?

Angel: I don't know.

God: I said, "Strong as a bear!"

Angel: No, you said, "Ass hair."

God: No, I didn't!

I got a text from Kb. She said: "Really Gwen said that! Will fine Idc! \"Hurt\""

Thanks a lot, Gwen!

Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.

His husband said, "What's your question?"

Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"

His husband said "Yes?"

Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"

I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.

She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...

Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.

"What is it?" said George Sink.

"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.

Yo mama's so dumb, her dad said, "You're driving me crazy," and she said, "I didn't know crazy was a place!"

There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"

We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!

My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."

Hrhfgsfabcke then the other guy said, "Potato."