Said jokes

I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.

Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?

Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.

My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"

I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.

Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone? In my theater we had a standing ovation!

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."

I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"

They said that new Juice WRLD album was shakin' good....

My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."

You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.

Wolf looks like a fox.

It has the sharpest claws.

It has a bushy tail.

To eat, it doesn't fail.

It has a coat of red.

My grandmother has said,

It hunts in search of food.

It is never, never good!

A bee said to his naughty son, "Honey, stop bee-ing abnormal and bee positive!"

Two gays came into the bar and said, "What's up, you big faf mother of hell?"

My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.

Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.

A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?

I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.

Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."

I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."

He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.