Said jokes

My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."

You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

I remember you. You used to be an ash.

I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.

Did Mr. Rusher play tennis in the dark?

You will get hit by the tennis ball! Ouch, Mr. Rusher said.

Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.

A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”

I said, “Well, which one are you then?”

Who ever said "condom?" YES DADDY!

Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.

I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

So when Kim Kardashian went into the ocean, the lifeguard said, "No plastic littering!"

He entered (kindergarten) class. The teacher said, "Luce, start for us and say the alphabet." He said, "A B C D E F G H I J K *just kidding* L M N O." Laugh my nose off. The teacher said, "Go to the office right now, young man!" I don't understand, he just said jokes to the teacher, lmao :D

"My sister said she was the only smart one in the class."

"What about the teacher you learn *from*?"

Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"

Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!

I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."

I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"