Said jokes

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

What did the eagle say to Obama?

He said: "Joe Mama!"

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf.

Jack got high and dropped his fly, and Jill said "Where’s The beef?"

McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.

Yo chin is so bumpy, someone said, "Is that Mt. Everest?"

Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.

Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!

But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.

She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.

An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.

Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.