Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
Said Jokes
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.
"What is it?" said George Sink.
"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a juice box because it said concentrate.
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
"I can't wait for Thanksgiving!" said the turkey.
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
