Safety jokes
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?
Call 911.
Memes
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
Why did the old man fall down a well?
He couldn't see that well.
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.