What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?
Call 911.
Safety Jokes
Why did the old man fall down a well?
He couldn't see that well.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
7 was a registered sex offender.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered sex offender.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
Why can’t the baby cross the road?
Walls.
