Safety jokes
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?
Call 911.
Memes
Why did the old man fall down a well?
He couldn't see that well.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
7 was a registered sex offender.