Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Taco Bell going out of business
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
People: You're ugly.
Me: Ok.
People: I hate you.
Me: Cool, IDC.
People: You're annoying.
Me: Good for me.
People: BTS is dumb.
Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
I painted my black PS5 white so the controller would run faster.
