Run jokes

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?

Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.

Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.

This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.

The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.

The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”

The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”

Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".

Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?

Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.

I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?

Taco Bell going out of business.

Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:

Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).

Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.

Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!

What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?

"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."

Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.

People: You're ugly.

Me: Ok.

People: I hate you.

Me: Cool, IDC.

People: You're annoying.

Me: Good for me.

People: BTS is dumb.

Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!

I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."

I painted my black PS5 white so the controller would run faster.