Run jokes
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
People: You're ugly.
Me: Ok.
People: I hate you.
Me: Cool, IDC.
People: You're annoying.
Me: Good for me.
People: BTS is dumb.
Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!