I named my dog 5 miles so i could say i walk 5 miles each day
but today i ran OVER 5 miles...oops
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
Why do orphans never play baseball? Cause they can never get a home run.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To run away from the Pakistani.
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.
Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.
"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"
"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."
When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.
The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.
After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."
"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.
One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.
Run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours. It will be fun!
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?
You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...
Why did the prisoner run away?
To spit bars.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
