Run jokes

People: You're ugly.

Me: Ok.

People: I hate you.

Me: Cool, IDC.

People: You're annoying.

Me: Good for me.

People: BTS is dumb.

Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?

Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."

A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"

Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.

Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?

Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

When does a doctor get mad?

When he runs out of patients!

Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.

When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!

Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?

He would never make it home base.

I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭