Run jokes

I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.

A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.

Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.

I painted my black PS5 white so the controller would run faster.

Why did the Indian cross the road?

To run away from the Pakistani.

Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!

Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.

I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I walk 5 miles each day.

But today I ran OVER 5 miles... oops!

Why do orphans never play baseball?

'Cause they can never get a home run.

Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.

Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.

"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"

"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."

When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.

The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.

After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."

"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"

I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.

I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.

What is the difference between runners and my car?

My car is still running.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

What’s worse than running with scissors?

Scissoring with the runs!

A pedophile and a priest run a race.

You can’t beat yourself in a race!

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

Fence 1 was thinking and Fence 2 said, "Are you still on the fence about running away?"

Fence 1 said, "Yeah, I was thinking of running on the RAILROAD."

Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.