Run Jokes

I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.

Why are disabled people screwed?

Because you can't run or hide!

What problems might a blind child run into?

A wall.

Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*

Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

A cat looks up at the camera with wide eyes. The text on the image reads: "4 AM. EVERYONE IS ASLEEP. PERFECT TIME TO RUN FROM ONE END OF THE HOUSE TO THE OTHER AT FULL SPEED AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE."

I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!

Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.

Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?

I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.

We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.

Bully: Ur Gay.

Me: I'M STRAIGHTER THAN THE LINE IN OSAMA BIN LADIN'S PLAN.

Bully: *runs away and hears crash*

Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"

So, Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's. So he goes home and asks his mom, who's cooking, "What's the first letter of the ABC's?" He asks, and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!"

So then he walks to his sister, who's singing in the shower, and asks her, "What's the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" She responds with "I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go!" Then he walks over to his brother, who's watching Batman, and asks, "What's the 3rd letter of the ABC's?" and his brother responds with "Nu nu nu nu Batman!" Then he proceeds to walk to his dad, who's watching football, and asks, "Dad, what's the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" Then he walks to his grandma, who's cooking buns, and asks her, "What's the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" Then Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day, and the teacher says to her class, "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's?" Johnny, of course, raises his hand, and the teacher calls on him. Then he says, "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" Then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says, "Young man, are you ready to go to the principal's office?" Then he proceeds to say, "I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principal's office. Then she says, "What's your name, son?" He responds with "Nu nu nu nu Batman!" Then the principal asks, "How many spankin's, boy?!" He responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" and after that, he runs out of the principal's office while yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"

Why did the blind kid drop his ice cream? He got run over by his mom.

Why did Sally run into a tree?

She is blind.

Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.

Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"