Run jokes
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
The orphan was playing baseball. He hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
What do you call Joyce when she's running from the Russians?
Winona Hider.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!