Room jokes
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
What did the floor say to the ceiling?
"I look up to you."
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell them to stand in the corner in a round room.
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Chuck Norris makes the living room the dying room!
Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law can’t make enough room for her!
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Foxy the fox was a careless fox. She didn't care about her friend Froggy.
Froggy was a careful frog. One day, Froggy decided to teach the fox a lesson.
Foxy was in her bed sleeping when Froggy made her room an entire mess. She got up, and then her mother berated her for not cleaning her room. From now on, she is a careful fox.