Robbery jokes
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
So they could be wanted.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
How much do pirate earrings cost? 🤔
Answer: A buck an ear. 🤣
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he wanted to be wanted.
How did the guy rob the water park?
He used a water gun!
LOL 💦🔫💧🌊
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
Why did an orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.