Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion? Because there not wanted yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank;)
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy.
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
