Robbery jokes
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
A man enters the bank and says, "Hi, I'm robbing you!" The man was arrested instantly.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...
Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......
It’s a wood hulem.
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Why did the orphan go to rob the bank? Because he wanted to be wanted! >:D
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!