Robbery jokes
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy.
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
Memes
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.
When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.