Robbery jokes
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
Robber: This is a robbery, bitch!
Gunsalesman: No u
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.
Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......
It’s a wood hulem.
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.